Nothing Feels Me Good | Feel Like Crying……….

Since the first day of my semester final examination, I am very much depressed and anxious. It’s all about my semester wise payment. In our university the “Monthly or Semester Wise Payment” matter is not so much complicated or mandatory like other private universities.

This kind of system has created a problem towards me. Suddenly the University authority noticed that within 10th May everyone must have to pay more than 1 lac TK. But’s all in in a sudden……..and no one is out batch was prepared for that. If the authority were much rigorous like this time then we would so much conscious before, and we would pay all of the dues within the given time. But they didn't do it and they are doing this whenever we, especially me is really unprepared and when my family passing a hard time.

It might not create any problem who has came from the rich family but what would happen to the boy like me who has came from the middle-type family? It’s so tough to manage more than 1 lac TK within very shorter as my father is not a businessman. My father is a Govt. service holder and he is quite honest. And I know, by overcoming all of the limitations and by spending all of the expenses of our family it’s so tough for my father to manage a big amount within very short time.

I don’t now what would happen if I can’t pay all of the money within the deadline 10th may.

Today, I called to my mom and she also depressed about the shorter time. But like other mom of the worlds she also assures me to manage the money anyhow.

But isn’t it a pressure are being created upon my innocent guardian?

Now it feels like “why I came to this world”. Why Allah compel the middle typed family boy to face such type of examination?

Why I get myself admitted in a private university? Who said me to divert my educational stream to this fucking trend like “Textile Engineering”? Why I have to think about the saturated career in this early age?

I can’t bear anymore GOD. I feel like crying…………I don’t want to give any pain to my parents anymore. I am feeling boring and everything feels disgust to me.


However, I am very much optimistic. I love to hold hopes and I always search hopes even if there is no light of hopes. Because I know, one day, yeah a single day will come, which will make all of my dreams to come true………and Allah will make it for me.